There are countless scientific studies, books, videos, and TED Talks intended to help people figure out what to say or not to say in order to have healthy relationships. The best guideline I ever read was penned by St. Paul. He was writing to the church he had founded in Ephesus. (Ephesians 4:15)
I think it’s important to check the greater context of a scripture passage, so here’s a little background. Ephesians Chapter 4 is about striving for unity. In the previous verse, Paul describes the havoc caused by deceitful scheming. Then in verse 15, he counsels, “Instead, speaking the truth in love…”
Those five words—“speaking the truth in love”—set a standard we can spend the rest of our lives striving for. I’d like to share some thoughts on love and truth based on a post I wrote on Beach Walk Ministries’ Facebook page on April 21, 2018.
TRUTH and LOVE. Aren’t those heavyweight words? Imagine for a moment what an enormous difference it would make in today’s world if everyone spoke the truth. Now, what if treating others with love was the norm? Either of those would change the world! In this post we will explore how putting those words together is even more powerful, providing balance and context.
TRUTH means being honest with one another. It is the foundation of any healthy relationship. A multitude of verses throughout the scriptures point to its importance. Truth is a commandment: “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.” (Exodus 20:16.) To bear false testimony would be both untruthful and unloving. However, truth alone—without love—can be used as a weapon. Something may be true—and also hurtful, with no loving purpose for sharing it. When truth does need to be spoken, love reminds us to be gentle and respectful. Truth alone is not enough.
LOVE. I don’t think there’s a need to explain the importance of love. But sometimes we lose sight of honest, courageous love and settle for just trying to make everyone happy. “Love” without truth. What could this look like? It could mean pasting on a smile and responding to every little request with “I’d love to”, while ignoring the truth that we are nearing exhaustion. It could mean continually trying to please a family member, without ever addressing the difficult issues that are holding the relationship in an unhealthy pattern. It could mean a friend is so “nice” that he or she never speaks the truth we need to hear. This sort of “love” needs the balance of truth.
Let’s strive to speak the truth. But let’s not stop there. Let’s strive to Speak the Truth in Love.
(If you’re on Facebook, you’re invited to check out the three posts on Beach Walk Ministries from April/May 2018, based on Proverbs 3:3, which begins “Let love and truth never leave you…”)
