As we continue our series on fear, I have been uncertain if the topic is resonating with my readers. However, since I keep seeing and hearing the words fear, worry, anxiety, and stress, many of us must be dealing with some of those feelings, at least at times.
Personally, while I have caught myself clenching my jaw, and other signs of stress, I thought the word “fear” did not apply. But then my phone rang this morning. It was our daughter. When she told me she was sick, I had an immediate gut-level reaction—fear. Fortunately, it was momentary. We reminded each other that just because there’s a pandemic going on doesn’t mean people aren’t still getting colds, flu, and other illnesses. Nevertheless, she’ll be taking a COVID-19 test tomorrow. As we wait for the results, and deal with whatever those results are, I may be needing these coping strategies myself!
A few of the ideas on this list have been discussed in the previous posts. If you have any comments, including suggestions to add to the list, please scroll down and use the comments section below or send me an email.
What follows is excerpted from the draft of my upcoming book.
We all know worry and anxiety don’t accomplish much, and are not good for us. Yet focusing on trying not to be worried, anxious, or afraid isn’t very effective. Our brains respond much better when we tell them what to do. Here are some strategies:
1. Acknowledge your fears. You can pray about them, talk them out with an understanding friend, and/or journal. Then picture leaving their weight with the Lord, in the care of your friend, or on the pages of your journal.
2. Focus on God and “seek first his kingdom…” (Matt. 6:33) Spend time with him. You can’t trust someone you don’t know. Read his word. Take your time and let it soak into your heart and soul. Here is one of my favorites to meditate on, Psalm 46:1-3.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”
3. Be good to yourself. Fear, worry, and anxiety are exhausting, so extend a little extra grace to yourself and those around you who are experiencing similar feelings. Check-in with your body and relax areas where you are holding tension. Eat nourishing foods, get enough sleep (or at least allow yourself to rest), and enjoy some fresh air and exercise. And don’t forget to breathe!
4. Think and pray about whether there is some action you can take. For example, when my first child was a newborn, a fear of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) lodged in my sleep-deprived brain. I made a donation to the American SIDS Institute. Although I knew it wouldn’t directly make a difference for my baby, being able to do something, and knowing it would help others in the future, made me feel better.
5. Look for small miracles and points of gratitude.
6. Laughter is a great antidote to fear. If the concern is not deadly serious, see if you can catastrophize to the point of ridiculousness. This can help you keep your perspective. For example, one of my young music students was apprehensive about an upcoming recital and asked what would happen if he made a mistake.
I said, “The roof will collapse, your parents will leave without you, and I won’t teach you anymore.”
He looked at me intently for a moment before a grin spread across his face. “That won’t happen.”
I smiled reassuringly. “No, it won’t,” I said, and we both chuckled.
7. If you are concerned about certain events which are getting news coverage, limit your exposure to the media. TV, in particular, tends to sensationalize issues. Don’t let your brain marinate in that negativity!
8. Jesus advised, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow… Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matt. 6:34) Jesus was not saying we should never think about the future, but that we would do well to concentrate on what we need to do today. Years ago, during an unsettling time in my life, my mantra became “One day at a time.” It really helped me focus on dealing with what each day presented—without stressing over things that could happen or decisions that might need to be made.
Dear Lord,
Sometimes this world is a scary place. We are afraid when events remind us of past traumas. We are unnerved by circumstances that are totally unfamiliar. Even in the midst of the storm, help us to hear your voice, saying, “…do not fear, for I am with you.”
Elaine Hirschberg
22 May 20204- Your donation to the SIDS foundation reminds me of when I was pregnant for the first time. I got a phone call asking for a donation from the Special Olympics Foundation. I immediately said yes, and have donated to them every year since. I must admit, it was partly from fear. But I never regretted it and it is a wonderful charity. Good can come from fear.
Something positive will come from this awful time, we just can’t see it yet.
admin
22 May 2020Elaine – Thanks for sharing your story. I believe positive things are already coming from this difficult time. Perhaps a topic for a future post?