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Yesterday morning (Monday), I woke up with a mild tension headache, but also a sense of accomplishment. It had been one of the busiest weekends of my life. And I had done better than just get through it. Because I had taken conscious steps to avoid letting the busyness become a stress fest, I had been able to enjoy it. 

Initially, we planned to attend two large holiday parties on Saturday, including one at my mother’s residence. On Sunday, I would be playing piano at church (requiring practice) and my students would have their music recital (requiring preparation). It would be a busy weekend, but it was do-able.

Then I found out my brother and sister-in-law would be flying in from New York to attend my mother’s party and spend the weekend. Their visit also provided a rare opportunity for us to host a family gathering. Great idea. But this particular weekend? I wasn’t sure whether to shout “Yeah!” or “Yikes!”

I knew I would have to be intentional about what I committed to and what I said no to. And then, I had to be conscious of my attitude, because when I have a little too much to do, I tend to start looking at events with an attitude of “have to,” rather than “get to”. These were all joyful events and I wanted to approach them that way. 

First, I trimmed what I could off the calendar for Friday, and decided to skip the second party on Saturday. That made it possible to extend invitations for two family dinners at our home. And for those dinners, I had to keep my perfectionistic tendencies­––my inner Martha Stewart—in check. This needed to be simple. For the larger dinner, we put a leaf in the dining room table, pulled in a few extra chairs, and ordered pizza. Guests brought salad, and a bottle of wine to toast being together. As we passed around fresh fruit, store-bought cookies, and chocolates, I didn’t even apologize for not having time to make dessert.  The important thing was to enjoy being together. And we did. 

The whole weekend was festive and fun. Though I was tired afterward, I feel like I did things right this time. I set priorities, saying yes to what was most important, and no when I needed to. I enjoyed being with family while being careful to conserve enough time and energy for my other commitments. It’s taken me years to learn to find balance between what I want to do for others and what I need to do to take care of myself. I’m not always successful. But it is an essential skill, especially as we all navigate this busy season. 

Serendipitously, I saw something this morning which echoes this idea. I’ve been reading a book about the mystical meaning of the letters in the Hebrew alphabet. The concepts are new to me and I’m just dipping my toe in the water to see what it’s all about. So, if it’s new to you, stay with me. I’ll keep it simple. I was reading about the eighth Hebrew letter, “chet”. It is the letter which begins the word “Chai”, meaning life (think of Fiddler on the Roof and the toast, L’Chaim—to Life!) The letter itself represents life and health. Some sages say it is comprised of the two previous letters, “Vav”, representing relationship, and “Zayin” representing time. As I thought about that, I thought about how a healthy LIFE—especially during the Holidays—is about balancing the importance of RELATIONSHIP and the limits of TIME. It is about choosing to do those things which enhance relationship (staying in touch with people, showing hospitality, giving gifts, etc.) while keeping in mind the limits of our time and energy. It is about choosing what is truly life-giving. May we choose well. 

Enjoy the holidays. L’CHAIM!

Photo credit ID 19901964 © Oleg Tokarev | Dreamstime.com