There are times we need to get involved, speak out for those who have no voice, and make a difference. B.E. Beck, in her guest post titled “Upstander” (Sept. 20, 2018), wrote about this. (If you would like to read it, click on “blog” at the top of the home page, then scroll down.) However, there are other times when we can get too involved. Relationships are damaged when one person’s idea of “help” is viewed by the other as meddling. Perhaps most importantly, over-involvement can prevent others from learning to take responsibility for themselves.
The “words of wisdom and refreshment” I want to share today are an expression that helps me walk away when I’ve done all I can, when it’s not appropriate for me to try to fix a situation, when I know my calling is elsewhere.
“Not my circus, not my monkeys”
The first time I came across this Polish expression, it made me laugh. And it also stuck with me. Like most expressions, it’s not meant to be taken too literally. The point is not that the situation is a circus, or any people involved are monkeys. We can still be compassionate. It’s just a light-hearted way to say it is not mine to fret over or take responsibility for. And I find it just a little easier to let go when I remember this humorous expression.
Readers, you are once again invited to share some of your favorite words of wisdom and refreshment in the Comment section below.
MICHAEL WITIW
27 Aug 2019A similar expression is ” I don’t have a dog in this fight”. Sometimes it is clear, but often it is not clear knowing whether you ” have a dog in the fight (or monkey in the circus)”. These times require thought on whether to get involved or how long to stay involved. It can be a tricky decision.
admin
29 Aug 2019Thanks, Mike. That expression makes me think of times we are asked to take sides when it’s best not to. Yes, decisions regarding involvement can be tricky.